Everywhere I go, when asked where I come from and I said Indonesia, I usually get another question: "Indonesia? Where is it?". Doesn’t matter that we are one of the largest countries in the world, we have almost 14,000 islands and almost 400 languages, that we have the second biggest rain forest in the world (after Amazon), we must admit, Indonesia is so poorly advertise themselves people don’t know that we exist! Ok, most of them know Bali, but sadly they never have a clue that Bali is a just small part of Indonesia. Maybe now we are more famous because of the terorrist attack (ouch…) but compare to our neighbor who claims that they are "Truly Asia", although they claim so many things that belong to Indonesians (i.e. satay, batik and tempe), we are far behind them.

So it’s funny to see that most of the people in Indonesia don’t know where Scotland is. The first time I met Stuart, when he said he’s from Scotland, I assumed it’s somewhere in UK. I was correct, but it’s just the same thing by saying Bali is Indonesia.

My dad was having fun of mocking him one night by saying he checked out the website and found out that Aberdeen is in…. Denmark! Poor Stuart spent 30 minutes to draw a UK map on a piece of paper to show him where Scotland is. Although my dad knows exactly where it is, he kept saying that Stuart is Danish, not Scottish. Stuart provided his passport, but then on the passport it is said "The Great Britain and Northern Ireland" so he then spent another 1 hour to explain what it means by The Great Britain, why there is an "and" on the sentence, the history of Ireland, and of course, must explain why Scotland is not mentioned at all!

If asked ‘Scotland? Where is it?", Stuart usually answers by saying "You know Sir Alex Fergueson of Manchester United?" Guys usually nod and that would be the end of the discussion (I have no idea how you can connect Man-U with Scotland, just hope those guys don’t assume that Manchester is in Scotland!), but of course it doesn’t work with girls!

Well, since today is my last day in Scotland before going back to Jakarta, I’ve found a map that shows the location of Aberdeen, the city of 250,000 people and Scotland’s third largest city, where I’ve been staying during holiday. It’s not in Denmark, of course! As long as you have an idea where United Kingdom is, it’s easy to figure out where Scotland is located.

Edinburgh has its famous castle where last year had an event to celebrate the new movie of Harry Potter (aha! Now it becomes more clear to you? Good). We visited it last year and I instantly fell in love with it. We went back again to the castle this year, and I still held my breath to see an outstanding grand building before me.

Inverness is the location of the famous monster, Nessie, at Loch Ness. Although Yolanda says that Loch Ness (Lake Ness) is not as beautiful as Lake Toba in North Sumatera (I believe you, darling!), I found the lake is intriguingly mysterious, since the water is dark black, very deep (230m!) and its length reaches 36 km. I didn’t meet Nessie, I guess probably it was too scared to show up….

Scotland is also famous for its whisky, and they have so many brands and types of whisky, and Chivas Regal is probably the most common Scottish whisky that Indonesians know. I personally don’t like the drink, but we visited the Glenfiddich distillery and it’s fascinating to see the process of making their whisky. In their gallery they provide a program that can record our message and picture thru a webcam and send it by email to anyone we want. I made my best dance and sent it to my dad’s email address, to show him off that I visited the distillery (days later I found the email was bounced back with message from the operator: suspected spam. Ouch!)

Anyway, hopefully now you know precisely where Scotland is. If you are more curious, you could visit Scotland website.

That makes me wonder, does Indonesia have such official website? We definitely need one!!

A friend came to me with a sad news: she just broke up (again). In almost 5 years knowing her, this was the second time her love affair ended abruptly. Everything was smooth sailing for months…. and then… bam! He broke up with her. She was devastated, she cried alot, kept asking questions (why this, why that, what if), and naturally felt the world is over and she was the most unlucky girl on earth.

I know that heartbroken sucks (remember the song ‘lebih baik sakit gigi daripada sakit hati’? I guess it’s correct. You could numb the pain on your teeth by taking a painkiller tablet, but how can you mend a broken heart?). I guess everybody has felt it, at least once. And everyone has their own way of dealing with it. A friend of mine closed his heart for almost 10 years after broke up with his girlfriend (only last year I’ve got a text from him, saying that he’s dating someone, thank God for that!). This girl I was talking about is being needy and clingy, she would phone me up every 10 minutes. Another guy friend suddenly bought self-help books and watched ‘girly programs’ such as Oprah shows (to understand girl’s way of thinking, I guess?). Some would go mad-shopping (that’s me, haha!) or drink excessively. Others might pour their feeling into their writings, melodies, or drawings (hence, for example, an album titled "Songs about Jane" by Maroon 5)

One thing that remains the same, is, that time, we feel that we are the most miserable people in the world. It’s easy to feel that, because being dumped means our dignity and trust were taken away. Actually we are not that unlucky! But some people always choose to see that the glass is half empty. It seems that they "enjoy" the feeling. What I mean here is they keep feeling sad and bitter, keep thinking about the past, keep wondering if they did it differently - would they still be together, keep feeling that the world has treated them unfairly, keep being angry towards the person who’d left them.

But surely the wound will finally heal. People have amazing abilities to survive in most difficult situation. It’s a matter of time before we realize that life is not that bad, that there is so much more to see and feel, that there is something bigger and better awaiting in front of us, that everything has happened for a reason.

I personally have been through a lot in the past 5 years. I have had experienced things that most of my friends have never been going through (yet). I found love and lost it, I went through a devastating and humiliating process of separation from the man I had been with for almost 10 years, I lost my ability to trust someone (because after 10 years, I just realize that we never know what’s in people’s head!), I lost my trust in society, in friendships, in love, in men, in marriage. I lost my friends, my dignity and my identity during that time. I had been victimised, accussed, judged, I had been the juicy gossip topic in office, family gathering, and society in general. I didn’t know who I was, what I wanted, where this was going, and why the hell it happened to me! And then I found what I thought was love and got kicked in the nuts. Again. My wounds were not healed and suddenly it was bleeding again!

It was the darkest period and the lowest point of my life. But hey, I’ve survived! After all the whole turbulence and craziness, everything comes to an end, and I saw light. It was hard to start again. It’s easier to feel depressed, unwanted and unlucky. It’s difficult to push ourselves to see the brighter side of the world.

But if I could do this and could survive, so can she. So can you. What we might need is a closure (draw his face on a piece of paper and throw it away, for instance. I could think of 100 ways which are more vicious though), a kick on the butt from yourself, friends and family to wake you up, and you could start over again.

I have started again, and I’ve found everything that I lost before. Amazing boyfriend, incredible friends, great family, everything that I thought I wouldn’t be able to have again.

So come on. Kick yourself on the butt. And move on. Because honestly, life is not bad. Not bad at all!